I work out religiously
(between 5-6 times a week) and carefully monitor
my food intake, trying to look the best I can. However, every time I look in
the mirror, all I see are flaws. I wonder ‘Maybe if I had A bigger dick,… a lypo,
…a more perfect looking face, I’d be more desireable'
This insatiable drive to be desireable become so obsessive that I base my
self-esteem on the number of people I can attract. Instead of sex being the
union of two minds, hearts, and bodies, it becomes a release. Kind of like
taking a shit. It doesn’t matter if I am attracted to the other party of not.
All I know was I have to find a way of dealing with the frustration of not
being able to openly express my nurturing qualities as a man.
Although these surgical alterations may sound appealing, the symptoms,
not the problem, are being addressed . You need to be honest with myself; let’s
get to the heart of the matter.
The truth is no matter how much plastic surgery you get, you’ll never be
satisfied. With every change, you’ll sink deeper and deeper into a pit of narcissm
and vanity. If there is something you don’t like about yourself, change it, but
remember to do it for the right reasons. You want to deal with male issues, then
start a men’s group, build a men’s studies webpage, or an online community.
The truth is what you really want is unconditional love. You don’t want
to be someone’s trophy. You desire someone to like and understand you for who
you are, as well as, finding you physically attractive.
The truth is you need to understand why you’ve put so much of your
esteem in how you look. Begin therapy, and take the first steps in placing
your worth in additiional factors such as your actions, qualities, abilities, and
relationships with others.
The truth is you need to understand that there is a reason you are single
at this time of your life. Make the time for solitude. Take the time to reflect.
Remember: you are the hardest person to live with. If you can’t live with
yourself, how can you expect anyone else to do the same? How you feel when
you are alone reflects how you feel about yourself.
The truth is you need to understand that there is a certain mystery and
simplicitywhen people genuinely like each other that is some ways in beyond
our realm of comprehension. Being analytical will further complicate the process.
Accept being in “like” for what it is: a human experience.
The truth is you need to be willing to explore beyond what your two eyes
see and practice seeing with the inner eye. Although you are socialized into
thinking what is beautiful, you have power to define what is beautiful to you.
Challenge yourself by questioning your paradigms of beauty from time
to time. “Beauty is where you find it, not just where you bump and grind
it”- Madonna, Vogue
And finally remember that you are limited by your own perceptions.
What you perceive is “a”reality, not “the reality” Accept people for who they are
and judge them by their actions.
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